Things you consider before getting into a relationship

Let’s first answer the age old question, “What is Love?” The answer isn’t as simple as questioning it because Love is something that is bigger than all of us. You may invite love into your life, however you cannot dictate how, when and where love expresses itself. It is so swift and seamless that nobody escapes it. Love is so unique, it can neither be turned into a reward nor can it be shut off as punishment. It’s present and the feelings will be evoked in all living beings irrespective of their opinions on it.

When this love is invested in time and effort between two or more people in a relationship, it goes without a say that they have certain responsibilities and rights. This is extremely essential because it is a situation where two individuals with their own thoughts and opinions, dreams, goals and ambitions, unite to spend their time together, unable to avoid Cupid’s arrow.

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When in a relationship, each individual has the right to…

• be treated with respect — always
• be in a healthy relationship
• not be abused — physically, sexually or emotionally
• enjoy friends and activities apart from my romantic partner
• express myself honestly
• recognise my culture and identities
• determine my values and set limits
• decide what I share with whom
• say no
• feel safe in relationships
• be treated as an equal
• feel comfortable being myself
• leave or stay in a relationship

How well you do i these solely depends on your past and current relationship experiences. If you’re strugging with any one of these, it becomes your duty to improve. There’s nothing to be afraid of when you claim your own rights as well. It’s all part of being in a healthy relationship.

Why is taking responsibility important in a relationship?

Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part of having a healthy relationship. Doing so is an empowering reminder that you have control over the role you play in your relationship with your partner. Taking responsibility creates trust and dependability. When you take responsibility for your behavior, you demonstrate to your partner your willingness to be honest as well as vulnerable, which simultaneously encourages your partner to be open and authentic with you.

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The most basic responsibilities you have

1. Communicate values and limits: It’s important that you communicate the values you believe in and your limits so that your partner has a clear idea on what they can do as well as what can possibly upset you. It helps you get to know each other way better.
2. Respect your romantic partner’s limits, values, feelings and privacy: You shouldn’t forget that the your partner is a completely different individual despite the similarities you share in terms of values, tastes and preferences. If they are not comfortable with something, it becomes vital to not force it upon them. They have their own life and come with a completely different set of experiences, so you will need to respect their privacy. It also takes a huge amount of trust that needs to be built to take up this responsibility. So, don’t forget it when you do decide to get into a relationship.
3. Accept your romantic partner’s culture and identities: With the whole world undergoing a digital shift, there has been a rise in online or long-distance relationships. This responsibility is extremely important especially if your partner comes from a different part of the world, with a different faith or beliefs. Don’t try to change them just because you don’t believe in what they do. Learn to accept their culture and identities, even of you don’t believe in it. It’s something that they have been cultivated since their childhood.
4. Do not abuse — physically, sexually or emotionally: The wellbeing of your partner is as important as your own. No matter what you are undergoing, you should never abuse your partner, especially if it is manipulative or for your own benefit. These can cause traumatic memories and damage certain aspects of their lives that might have otherwise been joyful experiences.
5. Other responsibilities you will need to keep in mind: Be a good listener. Be considerate. Communicate clearly, honestly and respectfully. Give them space to enjoy activities and friendships outside of our relationship. Do not exert power or control in relationships. Compromise when needed. Admit to being wrong when appropriate. Ask for help from friends, family and mentors.

In a relationship, partners need to be fully honest with each other.

Couples should be taking responsibility for their actions and doings to have a happy relationship. If you find yourself in an unhappy relationship, you need to question yourself first on how you contribute to this uncomfortable feeling. It is fairly easy to blame someone else for your uneasiness. Take a look at yourself to figure out how you might be damaging your relationship.

If you’re planning to get yourself into a relationship with the person you love, you will need to be prepared to be responsible and respect your partner’s rights as well. If you aren’t ready to take it up just yet, it’s alright to wait until you are.

If you aren’t in a relationship and haven’t found love yet, don’t worry. Focussing on yourself, to improve and become a better person is a good thing. Love yourself first, but don’t let it blind you from accepting love from others as well. Relationships are about growing and maturing together, pulling each other up. If you are aware of your rights and responsibilities, and lead a healthy relationship, happiness is bound to follow.